Warriors Arise: November 9, 2023
Matthew 5:24 "leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to
your brother, and then come and offer your gift."
I am truly feeling the weight of this verse and yet, there is a freedom. I do not like conflict. Therefore, I error on the side of hoping "time will heal all wounds". But, it generally doesn't.
It doesn't matter if our thinking tells us not to bother fixing the breach because we aren't interested in a relationship anymore. Our thinking is incorrect. If we aren't interested in the relationship anymore, we can stop inviting in it. However, you and I have a responsibility to make sure we leave on good terms.
We need to have the maturity to make sure we aren't quitting on the relationship because we have to humble ourselves and apologize for something we did. We can't quit on the relationship because we don't want to forgive the other person. We have to be honest with ourselves. When we aren't, our integrity is in question.
I know how to go apologize for something I did wrong or an action that was hurtful. I admit and also feel the pain of my actions and words that have hurt others. I have lots of experience apologizing for my hurting another.
I don't want to hurt anyone, but there are times I am not in the right frame of mind, caught off guard by a sharp comment, or wasn't listening so I responded without having the necessary information. These can all be hurtful and cause an offense that leads to a breach in relationship.
We can tell someone, "It's ok, no worries," but, are we really being honest? If we pull back, even the slightest in the relationship, then it wasn't ok. If we are pulling back because we needed to apologize but the other person beat us to it, then we go to them and apologize. Until we do, the breach is on our side.
As believers, we are to be reconciled one to another. Jesus knew and Paul knew, we were going to have breaches in our relationships. But breaches can be fixed. They are not fatal unless we refuse to mend them.
It is necessary as believers to mend the breach. So why don't we?
I can only answer for myself. In the past, I have been slow to mend a breach because I am concerned the other person will not want to fix the breach. I am concerned the relationship will completely tear apart and be over. So, I go through limping along with a very fragile relationship because I am afraid to lose it completely.
I have learned this is very unhealthy. If someone wants the relationship to be over, then it needs to be addressed and blessed in the departure. Some people are only to be a part of your inner circle for a period of time. But to limp along with it is only causing us to deceive ourselves. It is not helpful nor healthy.
Sometimes I didn't know how to reconcile things with my brothers. I didn't know what to apologize for. I didn't know why there was a breach in the relationship. How do you go to someone you know there is something under-the-surface going on but you have no idea what it could be?
Pray for them and yourself.
Ask God to reveal to you what is under-the-surface.
Ask the person and be prepared to listen.
Be clear in your words. Think through them before speaking.
The end goal is to be reconciled, to mend the breach.
Some relationships will pick up and be stronger. Others will be recognizing this relationship was only for a season; therefore, we release each other to embrace new relationships that will be needed in their next season.
When there is a healthy mend of breach, the relationship is stronger. When there is a a healthy bless and release in relationship there is no fear to receive new relationships needed for the next season. Some "brothers" will be for life and others will be for a season. When blessed and released properly, both will prosper in their new relationships.
Father, I ask for You to reveal to me anyone I have a breach with. I pray I would be open to hearing You and then listening to them. It is always so scary but I know You are with me. I know I have the character needed to apologize if that is what is needed. I know I have the strength to release them if it is time to bless them and give them room for other relationships in their life that will benefit them in their next season. I pray for wisdom in my response. I want them to be release in a healthy way. I want them to be blessed in their relationships. I want them to have had a blessed relationship with me. I know that doesn't mean I am perfect. It means I had the courage to bless them and reconcile any breaches out of love. Thank You for the courage to mend the breach. You are my strength and I will honor You in Jesus' name amen.
A Warrior in the Lord’s Army,
Veridee Joy Hand
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